We are officially less then 3 weeks away from surgery and I keep getting asked the same questions… How are you doing? Are you Ok? How’s Josh? How’s Ezra? How are you handling this? So…
How are we doing?… Well Ezra is doing the best of all of us right now, he has no idea what is coming! He is his normal happy self, enjoying infancy and exploring his little world. Josh and I are doing okay. I’m not a person who compartmentalizes easily, If something is on my mind it usually consumes me until I give up control and hand it over to God (which always takes longer then it should). This season of waiting for surgery has taught me to compartmentalize. I’m literally taking each day for what it is. Being a mom, a wife, a pastors wife (which yes is a job, but a very good one!) and also working part time in children’s ministry keeps me plenty busy… my mind cannot handle all of that on top of stressing and worrying about Ezra’s surgery so I’ve chosen not to. Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments. When I really let my mind comprehend what my poor little boy is going to endure and I think about the pain of handing control over to the doctors while I sit in a waiting room for 6-8 hours; I loose it, ugly cry in the shower screaming at God LOOSE IT! Because yes I am human! But the Lord has truly answered my prayers for peace. I have prayed daily for a peace that passes all understanding and he has answered that prayer everyday. We feel confident in our decision to move forward with surgery and we feel confident in the team of doctors we chose. We felt the Lords hand in all of those decisions and therefore we are choosing to not be fearful. This is hard and honestly I shock myself at how I have been able to do this.
I am also choosing to believe in miracles. I may not have seen my miracle in the way that I want. God has not yet miraculously healed my son of Craniosynostosis and we are still moving toward the surgery date with no sign of that healing. BUT he has provided for our needs along this journey and we are still believing for more miracles to come. We are currently in a series at church called the Best Year Ever, and I believe that God is going to do a huge miracle in our son this year and it truly will be the best year ever! My pastors wisely encouraged us that miracles don’t always happen in seconds, but sometimes in series. My miracle may be the success of this surgery and I am okay with that. In fact I am praising him in advanced for that because God has positioned me for a miracle. Without a need there could be no miracle so here I am hands open and ready because the same God that knit together Ezra in my womb is the same God that has healed many people of far worse diseases so I know He’s got this.
Jeremiah 18:4-6″I went down to the potter’s house and saw him working with clay at the wheel. 4 He was making a pot from clay. But there was something wrong with the pot. So the potter used that clay to make another pot. With his hands he shaped the pot the way he wanted it to be.Then this message from the Lord came to me: 6 “Family of Israel, you know that I can do the same thing with you. You are like the clay in the potter’s hands, and I am the potter.”
This scripture has a new power over me. The pot is my son’s skull and there is something wrong with it so the “potter” is going to use that “clay” to make a new skull for him. As I hand my son over to the doctors to literally make a new skull for him, I am realizing that God is the potter shaping the clay of my son’s skull. I have chosen the top children’s hospital in the country with the top doctors to do my son’s surgery but ultimately I know who is in control and that is where my peace comes from.
So how can you pray? Here are my requests….
- Pray and BELIEVE for the miraculous healing, because God is capable.
- Pray for Josh and I to continue to have strength and peace as we wait in the waiting room.
- Pray for Josh and I to have discernment and wisdom as we advocate for our son’s medical needs.
- Pray for my heart as it aches for my precious son.
- Pray against any sickness that could stop Ezra from having the surgery.
- Pray against any bad weather that could delay our travels.
- Pray against infection.
- Pray against blood transfusion.
- Pray against severe swelling.
- Pray against any and all complications.
- Pray for protection over his brain as they operate around it.
- Pray for my son’s skull to be fully and completely made new.
- Pray for protection.
- Pray for the doctors, nurses, and anesthesiologist to have gentle and guided hands.
- Pray that we can be a witness and testimony to the doctors and nurses.
- Pray for minimal pain for Ezra.
- Pray that our little boy is brave.
- Pray that I am brave.
- Pray for the little miracles along the way that show us God’s hand in all this.
- Pray for our finances.
- Pray for safety in our travels.
- Pray that in all of this God’s perfect will will be done and made clear to us.
Thank you. Thank you for following our journey and joining us along the way. Thank you for committing to pray with us. Thank you for supporting us in this. Thank you for believing for us when we can’t believe for ourselves. There are no words to describe the strength that your prayers and support bring us. We couldn’t go through this without it. Every time someone tells me they are praying for Ezra my strength increases. I’d love for you to drop a comment telling me you are joining me in prayer, it builds me up.
We plan to update this blog as much as possible so as you pray you can experience the miracles along with us. So get ready friends… we are just 19 days away from our miracle and I can’t wait to be on the other side.